Just For Today
A reservation is something we set aside for future use. In our case, a reservation is the expectation that, if such-and-such happens, we will surely relapse. What event do we expect will be too painful to bear? Maybe we think that if a spouse or lover leaves us, we will have to get high. If we lose our job, surely, we think, we will use. Or maybe it's the death of a loved one that we expect to be unbearable. In any case, the reservations we harbor give us permission to use when they come true--as they often do.
We can prepare ourselves for success instead of relapse by examining our expectations and altering them where we can. Most of us carry within us a catalog of anticipated misery closely related to our fears. We can learn how to survive pain by watching other members live through similar pain. We can apply their lessons to our own expectations. Instead of telling ourselves we will have to get high if this happens, we can quietly reassure ourselves that we, too, can stay clean through whatever life brings us today.
A Spiritual Principle a Day
Recovery allows us to take life by the reins. With a clear head and a clean conscience, we're able to deal with situations that would have mystified us in our previous lives. With time and effort spent on our recovery, we find the balance--often repeatedly--between confidence and humility, patience and action, faith and persistence. Flexibility sits at the intersection of all of these principles, allowing us to adapt and be resilient as recovery reveals its gifts.
When life takes an unexpected turn, sometimes there's magic in what we discover--other times, disappointment. In either case, practicing flexibility helps us to go with the flow. We keep breathing, regardless of the circumstances. A difficult living situation, an unhappy marriage, or a dead-end job may call on us to make decisions and take action. Our problems don't solve themselves just because we're clean. The work we put into our recovery helps us to understand our part in every situation. With that, we figure out what we can accept, what we should change, and when it's time to walk away. We take the reins of our lives, but we leave enough slack for the right pace and direction to reveal itself.
With faith and flexibility as our guideposts, new challenges seem more like serendipity and less like a curse. "I grew up hearing 'We plan, God laughs,'" one member shared. "When something gets in the way of my plans, I take it as divine intervention prompting me to explore other options." We often emerge from our most painful times with gifts we could not have imagined. Recovery helps us let go of some of our fixed ideas and look for the horse when all we see is manure.